drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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