soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
