haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
