I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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