Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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