I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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