just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
