i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just had sex on a roof
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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