Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
