i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
