All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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