sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
