I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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