Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
