I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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