I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
