They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
