You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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