dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize