just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
