I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
