just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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