he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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