: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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