Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
