If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
