So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
