Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Come on in and take your pants off
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