Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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