Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
