Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
