I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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