I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
