i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
