He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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