As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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