"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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