She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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