take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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