i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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