A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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