she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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