She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
