And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
