You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
