So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
