i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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