none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
