he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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