No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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