Where did you get a picture of my penis
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
