im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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