fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
