i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
