Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
