Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
