I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
