i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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