I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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