My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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