I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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