I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
