Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
