..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
