Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
