if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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