Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
