I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
