Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
