Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
